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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28683765">First Love/Late Spring</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anyonesguess/pseuds/Anyonesguess'>Anyonesguess</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hades (Video Game 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, End of game spoilers, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Post escape 9, Sometimes a fic is a fic, Sort Of, Spoilers, Zag dies but he gets better, Zag has a lot of guilt bottled up and you can't convince me other wise, and sometimes it's a thinly veiled socratic dialouge, canon typical death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:48:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,992</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28683765</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anyonesguess/pseuds/Anyonesguess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zagreus once again reaches the mountain top, but is badly wounded from his fight with his father. He expects a swift death, as it has been since his mother’s return, but this time, he lingers on the surface until Death himself comes to see him off.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>168</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>First Love/Late Spring</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zagreus lay at the little ledge overlooking his uncles kingdom, watching as the sun rose over it. He had read accounts of the sunrise, from poetry to prose to dry scientific accounts. He knew that helios was yellow, and the sky was blue, and the sea was green, though he had not seen them until recently. There were variances, in the brief times had seen them, sometimes the sea could be described as blue or inky, sometimes the sky indigo or azure, sometimes the sun was golden or rose. Though, of all the descriptions he had ever heard, his favourite, and the one he found most accurate, was to call the sea ‘wine dark’ </p><p>
  <em>The sea is not ‘wine colored’, boy. It is green. Cease with these pointless poetics, you are disrupting those with house duties to see too. Quite unlike you. </em>
</p><p>His father had been blunt as ever when he had found the passage describing the sea as such. It had amazed him, to think water could look like wine. He had seen water, not often. The rivers of the underworld did not flow with what one might envision as traditional water, but he had seen it. He had seen wine, red wine with it’s deep, rich color, with a glow to the edges when caressed by light. It reminded him in a way of bloodstone, or a dark ruby. Seeing the sea as the sunlight breached the waves now, wine dark held to him a much deeper accuracy than simply ‘green’. </p><p>Perhaps, he thought, an even more accurate phrasing would be ‘nectar colored’ though it did not have the same melody to it. He was no master of words, but the light of helios on the sea became the same honey pink as nectar. </p><p>A winter wind nudged the tree, tearing and agitating his wounds from the sap they had mingled with, bringing Zagreus back to his body. The numbness ebbed away as his senses were alight with the aches and pains and sensations still so new to him. </p><p>He could feel the snow beneath him, burning his skin in a way he could not have anticipated. Even in places where his hot blood had melted it, the burn lingered. The frozen grass, under it, poking out in places, scraping against his skin. Even the air was painful, the smell of the snow cool and crisp, something he had no words for but fresh. Fresh air. Breathing it in burned, though, that too could have been the injuries sustained during his last battle. </p><p>It had been more drawn out than he would have liked. Too many foolish missteps, too many more hits. A moment of distraction dodging a blast from a flaming skull, and his father had caught him. Out of darkness, Giagos raked across his back, not deep enough to kill, but enough to maim. The rest of the fight had been hard fought, and he did not recover. But neither did his father. The butterfly charm gifted to him by Death itself had been the final push, giving Zagreus enough strength to end it. Bloodied, but standing, Zagreus had watched as his father was swallowed by the Styx, knowing he would follow shortly. </p><p>But, he did not. The Styx did not come so quickly as it had the times before, and he had made it to this little ledge, just as the sun began to rise. </p><p>He had not seen the sun since his mother’s return. The Styx claimed him faster than before. Perhaps it had been his mothers essence that had pulled him along, kept him on the surface to find her. Cheating death as only the queen of it would dare to…</p><p>“The butterfly doesn’t seem to have been much use to you that time, Zagreus.” </p><p>Zagreus let out a breath of laughter, before wincing. </p><p>“Sorry, Than. Though, I did make it here, didn’t I? That must count for something.”</p><p>Thanatos said nothing, and Zagreus did not turn to him, but he heard his movements. Not footsteps, of course, but the bristle of the disturbed pine branches, plops of snow hitting the ground. He felt a cool hand brush his shoulder as Thanatos settled next to him. He turned, then to see Thanatos, his golden eyes looking down at his, eyebrows knitted in cool concern. </p><p>“You don’t look too good, Zagreus.” </p><p>Zagreus sighed, letting his head roll back against the evergreen and returning his gaze to the sea. As the sun rose, higher than he had ever seen it ,the sea began to change, taking on more of the green hue he had heard so much about. </p><p>“I’ll be out of your way shortly, Than. I’ve never lasted here very long.” </p><p>“I don’t know about that, Zag, You don’t feel close to death.” </p><p>Zagreus scoffed, rolling his head back to look at thanatos. </p><p>“I’m not sure how familiar you are with death, mate, but I’m a bit of an expert at this point.” </p><p>Thanatos chuckled, shifting to lean against the tree and closing the space between them. Zagreus felt their legs brush against each other, but none of the warmth. Thanatos was not warm, but his touch was always welcome. Even if it had not been so freely given as of late. It was fair, given everything Zagreus had done. Their relationship had begun to heal from Zagreus' betrayal, Than had obviously forgiven him enough to go against Hade’s orders. But still, as much as he tried to hide it with gifts and jokes, the guilt sat in his stomach like a sickness. Eating away at him. He did not know what to do with it. </p><p>“You’re shivering” </p><p>Than broke Zagreus’ train of thought once again. </p><p>“Have you ever sat in the cold this long?” </p><p>“I’ve never been alive up here this long.” </p><p>Thanatos hummed in disapproval. Zagreus was close enough to feel the subtle tension as Than moved to better accommodate the prince. As gently as he could, he shifted Zagreus from the evergreen, pulling him closer. He gasped as the sap and bark pulled at the open wound, still stinging as Thanatos pulled his cloak around Zagreus, holding him nearly in his lap. Zagreus tensed, unsure how to react, the feeling in his stomach making itself known. He did his best to relax into the embrace. Isn’t that what the shades had called death before, an embrace?</p><p>“I hope this helps some,” Thanatos muttered into Zagreus’ hair. </p><p>“It does. Thank you, Than.” </p><p>Thanatos created a barrier between him, and the chill, and for that he was grateful. Without the bite of the tree and the pull of the sap, the pain eased some. Despite his discomfort, he relaxed, floating in his thoughts. His eyes drifted down to the snow, where his blood mixed with it to form something pinkish and thin. He tried to find something he had seen to link it too, the closest he could come was the bruises forming under his skin, like ink in water. </p><p>“Zagreus. Can I ask you something?” </p><p>“Hmm?” Zagreus pulled his eyes open, having fallen partially closed. </p><p>“You’re blood- It’s-”</p><p>“All over your cloak? If your question is how to get the stains out, I’m not sure I can help you there, mate. Also heard this tree sap stuff is a nightmare to clean, so it might just be the end of the line for this particular garment,” </p><p>“Tsch, no, that isn’t what I wanted to ask. Don’t interrupt me.” </p><p>Zagreus smiled tiredly at his friend's exasperation, sitting up slightly in Thanatos lap, “But isn’t that what I’m good for? Making a mess of things?” </p><p>“Zag. Please” </p><p>Thanatos’ voice was sincere, not exasperated. The brief rush he had felt drained from him too quickly. He quieted, settling back down, finding he was relying more and more on Thanatos’ to support him, as he could not keep himself up right anymore. He sighed. </p><p>“Of course. Sorry.” </p><p>He rested his head against thanatos’ chest, close to his throat. Zagreus could feel him swallow, pause, then speak. </p><p>“What I wanted to ask was, well. I’ve never seen another god with red blood, only ichor. I was wondering if you knew why you have mortal blood?” </p><p>It seemed Thanatos too had been looking at the way Zagreus blood pooled in the snow. Zagreus laughed, not at the question, but direct and precise Thanatos, distracted by blood in snow. </p><p>“Achilles thinks I’m the god of blood, or the life it gives, anyways.” </p><p>“Really?” Thanatos shifted as the wind picked up, moving to block it from reaching Zagreus. “I can see that. It makes sense, given your lineage. Is that what you believe?” </p><p>Zagreus paused, uncertain. He had spent all of his life thinking and believing he had been nothing, a god of nothing. No aspect of his own, no domain or patronage. Now, not one, but two of the most important people in his life agreeing on something he had never dared to consider. A reason for his godhood. </p><p>“I don’t know.” He answered, finally. “I know my mother has red blood too, she’s half mortal.” </p><p>Zagreus felt thanatos cock his head, humming to himself. </p><p>“I was unaware”</p><p>“Yes, or at least, Demeter says as much. But I have seen the blood for myself” </p><p>
  <em> It had been one day or night in the gardens, as Zagreus spent time with his mother, time the two felt was owed. He stood, braced against the doorway as she worked. The gardens had truly come alive since her return. He had never been permitted within the gates while she had been gone, but the plants appeared dried and lifeless beyond. Now, they were bright and full, flowers and fruits he had no names for blooming under the loving touch of his mother. He pushed away from the door, wandering further inside. The air was somehow lighter here than the rest of the underworld, carrying a sweet smell, sweet as fruit and decay, yet softer still. He would never get used to it. Never get used to her. He did not want to take her presence for granted. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Ah!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He whipped around from the blooming tree he had been admiring, his attention immediately on her cry of pain, closing the distance between them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Mother!” </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>She looked up at him, smiling, holding her palm as it bled slowly. It was true blood, not ichor, running down her arm, red liquid pooling in the cut. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s alright, my son, it isn’t deep. Some of the plants have grown rather sharp in my absence. A fair response to their abandonment, I would say. But this is not the worst pain I have ever felt.”<br/> She smiled up at him, gently “I will be fine.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> He helped her clean and bandage the wound, ignoring the ache he felt in his stomach and chest. Her smile had not dulled the stab of her words, words he was sure were not intended to wound him, but did so still. He had laughed it off, as was his way, but. There were two pains to which he could imagine her referring too. His birth, or, his first death. What did it matter really? In the end, both were pains he had caused her-</em>
</p><p>“Tsch, oh come on, you can’t believe that” </p><p>His thought interrupted so suddenly, Zagreus was taken aback, He sat up as best he could in Thanatos lap, turning to look him in the eye. Thanatos scowled slightly, incredulous. </p><p>“You really think she blames you for that?” </p><p>Zagreus scoffed, </p><p>“Now, who’s interrupting who? I’m the reason she left, because of the grief she felt for me-”</p><p>“But that isn’t your fault. You couldn’t help being stillborn, are you really going to blame yourself for that? </p><p>Anger filled Zagreus with a newfound strength, as he pushed himself away from Thanatos, his dried blood tearing from the cloth and once more setting his back alight with pain. He did not get terribly far before it stopped him, the cold numbing his limbs again, struggling to hold himself up. He stared Thanatos down, trembling. Thanatos was unimpressed. </p><p>“What, you’re going to punish me by making yourself feel worse? Grow up, Zagreus.” </p><p>“What would you know of it? You’ve had your mother all your life, what grief have you caused her?” Zagreus barked. </p><p>“Oh, I’m sure I’ve caused Mother Nyx plenty of grief. That's the nature of children, I’m told.”</p><p> Zagreus turned away from him, something other than cold stinging his eyes. </p><p>“Gods, the Styx is taking its sweet time,” Zagreus muttered under his breath. </p><p>“I can still hear you, you know.” Than sat up. Even sitting he was taller than Zagreus, “Regardless, I’ve seen mortals cling to life like this if they feel they’ve got something left unsaid, or undone. Though more often than not, they never get to finish it.” </p><p>“Don’t you have deaths to see too?” Zagreus wanted him gone now, to just disappear in a flash of green and gongs. “You’re always so quick to leave otherwise”</p><p>“What do you think I’m doing here, Zagreus?” </p><p>“There’s nothing else to it, Than. It’s just the stubbornness you and father are always on about.” </p><p>“Or the guilt you’re stubbornly holding on too.” </p><p>“So, stubbornness either way. I’m still right.” </p><p>Thanatos said nothing, simply reaching out. Zagreus hesitated, but did not have the strength to resist, as Thanatos pulled him back, blocking the cold once more. Even as it stung, the feeling of cloth and skin against his open back, the weight of Than’s arms around his bruised stomach, it comforted him. Eased the ache. Though Than had pulled him back, he let Zagreus face away, let him hold his grief as privately as he could. </p><p>“No” He said, softly, resting his chin on Zagreus’ head. “You aren’t. You always make it clear to everyone else that they shouldn’t hold on to their guilt, why can’t you extend that to yourself? What good does your guilt do her, or anyone else for that matter?” </p><p>What good did it do? What good did grief do? Guilt? Remorse? What a thing to be asked of death. Zagreus could not hold back the ache, the anger at himself for what he had done. </p><p>“I hurt you, Than. I didn’t mean to, but I- I thought leaving with out saying anything would be better, that it would hurt less, for both of us, but I was wrong. And even after that, when I died, and died, and came back to you, you helped me find her. I can’t stand what I did. I’m so sorry, Than. I hurt you.” </p><p>Thanatos was silent. Zagreus stared out at the sea, the sun having risen high enough the ocean was truly a deep teal now, with golden white waves cresting and falling, like breaths. He couldn’t bear to turn and look at Thanatos, expecting the anger and hurt he so rightfully deserved, but could not face, not right now. </p><p>He felt Thanatos start to shake, expecting anger, but, instead. Laughter. Zagreus turned then, confused, to see Thanatos grinning.</p><p> </p><p>“Zagreus?” He finally said “Is that really what this is about?” </p><p>“I. Well, yes.” Zagreus stammered out, </p><p>Thanatos laughed again, before cutting himself off and clearing his throat. </p><p>“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. But, I’ve already forgiven you. I thought that would have been clear, with me helping you escape, but I see it wasn’t. I’m sorry for that”</p><p>Thanatos shifted Zagreus on his lap, turning so they were eye to mismatched eye. With the shift, Zagreus wounds were open once again to the elements, but only briefly. Thanatos pulled his cloak over Zagreus, protecting him as he always had. Many called Death cold and uncaring, but every death Zagreus faced was a kind embrace, comforting against the pain of whatever had brought it. The glowing golden eyes above him were not uncaring, but warm, in their own strange way. </p><p>And, Thanatos once again brought Zagreus the comfort from pain he would not acknowledge, with simple, earnest words; </p><p>“Zagreus, I forgive you.” </p><p>It caught Zagreus unaware, the true extent of the ache he felt only revealing itself as it lifted from him. As much as he had known that Thanatos had forgiven him, to hear the words spoken to him as sweetly as this was a greater gift than any he had received. He didn’t know where to even begin with a response, but he wanted to try. </p><p>“Than, I- Thank you. I don’t know what else to say.” </p><p>Thanatos looked at Zagreus a moment, his golden eyes hiding something just out of Zagreus’ reach. He hoped it was what he wanted it to be, what he felt himself. Before he could ask, the Styx made itself known, having put off it’s duties long enough. </p><p>Zagreus’ exhaled through gritted teeth, doubling over into Thanatos’ his grip tightening on the dark chiton, twisting the fabric as the Styx twisted his stomach. Than’s hands reached up, pulling Zagreus closer, as if to protect him from Than’s own presence. </p><p>“Than, it’s-” </p><p>“The styx, yes, I see.” </p><p>Thanatos still did not let Zagreus go, keeping him close, locked in an embrace. It was not warm, but it was; as warm as anything gentle is, anything loving is. It lasted forever and never, but enough. Still enough. Zag thought he felt breath on his ear, whispering something he could not make out. Too quickly Than pulled away, leaving Zagreus  grasping at what might have been said. </p><p>“Now,” Than began, as the waters of the Styx began to rise up to meet Zagreus, “You should go, and so should I.” </p><p>He layed Zagreus down in the red waters, planting a gentle kiss on the prince’s forehead. As the river dragged him down into the abyss, he heard the gong and flash as Death sought it’s next visitation, knowing well, Zagreus and Thanatos would meet again, too short and long a wait, as it always is for Life and Death.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title: First Love/Late Spring by Mitski </p><p>I'm back bby, I took a long break due to quarantine and just. life sucking, but I'm here again and I realy. really love Hades. Oh my god. Than. I love him. I wanna write some more Hades fics n such, and I hope you enjoy this one! I'm a bit rusty but I hope it's still good!<br/>I hope you enjoy, I love hearing any feedback &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3</p><p>(Also, I can't find the name of Hades' weapon?? I hope I got it right but i searched everywhere and couldn't find the actual name of it)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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